I was talking with a client in my chair about how I was taking a break from social media for a little bit. She is my age and has been a friend on mine for a long time. She asked me the question I got asked a lot, “why?” I began to explain, I felt overwhelmed, just needed have more time to think for myself without being influenced by others. For the past year, Berni and myself have felt a tug at our hearts to educate more in our industry. And I needed to have a clear mind to listen to what direction we may want to go. (Yes, don't worry we’re still going to do hair) I felt like no matter how much I did in a day it wasn't enough. Which is such a weird and terrible feeling. I remember wesley coming home, and asking me, what did i do today. And i would say, i didn't really do that much today. I did xyz, and somedays it would be 5 really hard task, some days it would be almost 20 things from small to big. And he would say babe that is a lot!
As me and my client talked about it, she said something I thought was interested. I know she had every intention of it helping me, she said, this is a bandaid. When you go back on its not going to fix anything. Which is true to a point. But sometimes, we don't know what someone else is walking through and exactly how their feeling. I didn't feel like it was a bandaid, I felt as if it was part of the problem. I lost motivation, I was having a harder time doing my daily things. I needed to hit a refresh and a pause button. (click here to read what I learned from my break on social media)
I was following people that were motivating me, encouraging their followers to add certain practices into the daily routines, all things that were good. I would tell people all the time, you need to go follow her she's so motivating! I would wake up in the morning excited to watch what she had to say. Until, I felt anxious all the time. On my days off from work, I would feel that I needed to be doing more, and more and more. On my days at work, I wouldn't feel like I did as much as I could have on working on my education dreams. So much so, that it started to effect my body. It effected my mood, I was easy to irritate, I was exhausted, I didn't look forward to going into work, I couldn't add one more thing on to my plate. My body was taking a toll. My eye began to twitch and then progressed to my nose. It twitched for months, and kept getting worse and worse before I went to the doctors. The morning I went to the doctor, it twitched for 5 straight hours before I went in. And she told me, stress causes this.
I thought to myself, stress? I am not stressed. I don't even know what stress feels like, but I don't really feel much different than I normally do. I wasn't convinced. Well it just so happened, the next day I was heading to the beach for a long weekend. And you know what completely stopped after 1 day away, my twitching.
I will be the first to tell you, its not just a bandaid. You are the one who knows yourself the best, you are the one who needs to take a step back sometimes and know that is okay! We cant do it all. I am seeing anywhere between 80-100 clients a week, training 4 hairdressers, teaching classes, doing payroll, sending schedules, ordering inventory, planning a wedding, a honeymoon, trying to run 3 social media pages, spend time with my fiancé, family and friends, and all while showing up everyday.
This has taught me, to ask for help. Let people help you where they can. I am still working on this, but I can say I am more aware now than ever. Im always thankful to walk through different seasons in life, because it gives me an understanding and heartfelt answers to help someone going through the same thing. So today, I encourage you to know everything will be okay, to take time for yourself because you are the most important person in your life. If you are not okay, you cant serve those around you the way you want too. Take a long bath, drink some water (half your body weight), do something new and exciting with your spouse or friend, go get a massage, really go schedule one right now, and ask someone to help you. Take care of yourself today physically and mentally, your body will thank you.